muddybrooks

My experiences post total pancreatectomy.

The Holy Grail, so to speak.

I’m going to start with a disclaimer that I am not acting as a medical professional for the purpose of this blog although I am an RN. I’m not an expert on any one’s diabetes care but my own and the words contained in this blog come from personal experience and my own opinion only.

There, now that that’s out of the way…

I had a very exciting day last week where I was being considered as a subject for the next leg of the Bionic Pancreas clinical trails. The Bionic Pancreas (BP) is one of the few closed loop systems usually referred to as an Artificial Pancreas (AP), for lack of a better, more accurate word. This device is the result of a collaboration between Boston University and Dr Ed Damiano & Massachusetts General Hospital’s diabetes research and Dr Stephen Russell. What makes this AP different from the others is that ultimately it will be a bi-hormonal system, meaning it will administer both insulin and glucagon. Many scientists are looking for a more stable form of glucagon than the current standard that is only stable for 24 hours. It is rumored that a company in the United States has developed a form of glucagon that is equally as stable as insulin but is not available just yet.  They’re still working on it. Hopefully soon!!

I actually had the device IN MY HANDS!!!! I couldn’t believe I was about to use the bionic pancreas as it is now. But after an hour and a half of learning the intricacies  and how to use the device, all my hopes were dashed!!! The researcher frowned when I mentioned (AGAIN!!! As I had also mentioned in my initial email.) that I am a surgical type one. She then proceeded to tell me I was  not eligible to participate due to my not being a “pure” diabetic. WHAT???!!! Because I did not have autoimmune type one diabetes (T1D) (apparently referred to as pure diabetes) they declined my offer to participate.

I was devastated and found myself explaining to the researcher that although the origin of my T1D was not autoimmune, my lack of a pancreas made my diabetes behave identical to any one with an autoimmune T1D. She left the room to ask someone with a little more authority than herself in regards to the study but came back with the same, “I’m sorry but you’re ineligible.

I had held the Bionic Pancreas in my hands!!!!! This little unassuming device has the potential to change my diabetes life and the cognitive burden of dealing with diabetes decisions 24/7 but because I’m “unpure”, I’m not a candidate. I thanked her and let myself out trying to hold back tears. I don’t cry easily but I had assumed I would come home with my own loaner BP because I had explained my surgical status to the intake research assistant who did not say I was ineligible. I really believe in this developing technology and the Bionic Pancreas in particular, so I was devastated to find out I couldn’t participate.

I’ve been following the progress of the Bionic Pancreas since my surgery in 2013 and have always felt it would be the treatment of choice for me when it finally gains FDA approval and hits the market. ( Just a reminder, I had my pancreas removed in 2013 due to 27 years of chronic pancreatitis. I also had a failed auto-islet transplant which means they transplanted back into my body my own islet cells in the hopes I would not become a person with diabetes (PWD) On my return trip home I started to think that maybe because I was a surgical T1D, when it finally comes on the market, will I also be ineligible from using it because of my unpureness???? This was a disturbing thought to me. The Bionic Pancreas, to me, is like the Holy Grail. The research they are collecting points out that this little device made by BetaBionics (the new company started to eventually market the product) significantly improves blood glucose (BG) control as compared with usual care.

Luckily, Ed Damiano, CEO of BetaBionics and co-lead researcher from Boston University, was speaking locally the same week that I was turned down. I trekked on over to the venue to listen to him speak and  to ask him personally to think about including surgical T1D’s into the clinical trials.

As he presented a brief history of the BP and then showed us the new trial data, I was even more in love with this little box that hopefully one day will improve my brain space from having to make countless diabetes decisions in my day to day life!! After he was through presenting, there was the usual Q&A where I asked him about including us surgical, unpure PWD. He remarked that my visit just a few days prior and my trying to make a case to allow me to participate resulted in a flurry of emails between many of the researchers eventually making it to Dr Damiano”s and Dr Russell’s inboxes.

The result of all those emails is that from this point forward, surgical T1D’s WILL BE INCLUDED in further legs of the trials!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! Music to my ears!!!! However, I was still not going to be able to participate in the current study that started this last week. That’s OK though!!! A good friend of mine, Sarah MacLeod from the blog, “What Sarah Says” is participating and it would have been so cool if we could have done it together. But, I’m going to have to live vicariously through her as she goes on with the study. Also, at the most recent meet up of our Boston South Diabetes Sisters PODS group, I discovered that one of our attendees is also participating. This is so cool!! Although I’m not an active participant, I will be able to experience it through these women’s eyes & get their perspectives on the device.

If you know anyone with surgical diabetes, let her or him know that they CAN participate in these particular T1D BP trials, as can “pure”, autoimmune T1D people. Have you considered participating in any kind of medical research trials? What type? & what was your experience? I’m very interested in science and medicine in particular, so the thought of being included as a clinical research trial subject is very exciting. Stay tuned because this artificial pancreas (again not the most accurate word) area of study is booming especially with Medtronics soon releasing their 670G closed loop system. Anyone using it yet?? I’m interested in how that works too!!

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and HAPPY SPRING!!!!!

2 Comments »

I think I’m definaitely an IDIOT!! (caps intended!!)

I like to think I’m a reasonably intelligent woman or at least I seem to learn quickly. But either I’m losing IQ points since having turned 50, or I’m just an IDIOT!!!

Now, I’m almost 2 yrs into my T1 dance & as u know, I’ve really tried to do my research to understand my new normal, but I seriously made a HUGE misstep and I did it twice!!

I’ll explain… I’m trying to incorporate a daily after dinner walk in an attempt to control my post-prandial highs. Great in theory!!Usually, when I go for a walk whenever, I check a BG and also, carry my meter and stuff and enough Smarties for at least 2 low treatments. Key word here is usually!! I didn’t check my BG, nor did I carry “my kit” of usual suspects this time!!

Luckily, my new walking pattern is after a meal & I do pretreat my insulin at least 10 mins before my meals. So, my BG was likely higher from the meal but I really had no idea. I’m VERY lucky that I didn’t experience a low but I’m angry w myself for “forgetting” to do the usual precautions I normally take. It was really irresponsible!!!

Now, the reason for the capitalized IDIOT!!! Unbelievably, I DID IT AGAIN!!! And, this time I wasn’t so lucky!!! I had a low that produced the “dumb” symptoms I say that I experience. I was walking w a friend, but I couldn’t verbalize that I was low and without my “kit”. She asked me if I was ok but all I could say was, “yah.” So, we parted ways and I very shakily continued the block to my house.

I’m fine but I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t do what I did, TWICE!!! Please, please, please… Take a minute before u go for ur exercise or just running out the door to do an errand & make sure u have what u need to be safe with u!!!!

We all matter!! & I’m selfish & I want u around to read my silly blog!! Thanks for that by the way!!!

Remember, CHECK!!! Don’t guess!!!

And Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!
Try an after meal or between courses walk on turkey day, but please bring ur stuff!! Learn from my mistakes!!! I know!!! I’m an IDIOT!!! Don’t be like me!!

2 Comments »

Type 1 vs Type 2 research

A very close friend recently had a high A1c after a few years of controlling his Type 2 with diet and exercise. At a recent follow up endo appt he was told he needed to go back on to Metformin in an attempt to decrease his A1c. He had gained some weight due to being sedentary over the winter due to illnesses and injury. Needless to say, he was devastated with this news. He felt like a failure after having been successful for many years with diet and exercise. He called me very distraught and devastated about his A1c. I tried to console him and gently told him that for the near future we would be on a fact finding exploration to determine what his BG was doing. Like I try to tell myself, I told him there was no emotional value in BG readings. We are scientists collecting information to make treatment tweaks to his meds and diet & exercise.

Why do we always, at first glance, condemn ourselves when we have an out of range BG reading. I’m working hard at it but it still takes my breath away when I get a wacky reading wondering what I did wrong for my BG to be so out of range. My friend was so dejected and disgusted with himself. He wanted to give up right then and there, telling me, “Why should I bother caring?? It won’t get me any where!” I promised him I would brush up on my T2D knowledge and together we would navigate these new waters. I told him we were in this together & I would do all I could to help him learn to care for his T2D. So, I have been immersed in T2D research and have learned a great deal about the differences between T1D & T2D.

I admit I wasn’t as well versed about T2D as I was T1D but I have done a great deal of reading & learning how to manage this type of D. First off, I asked him if he could commit to testing, for starters, twice a day-a fasting upon awakening and a BG check before bed. He has done an excellent job in taking on these new tasks. I was a little shocked to hear his endo tell him that testing wasn’t that important & to test “whenever”. I told him we needed to see what his baseline BG’s were doing & if the metformin was working or did it need to be tweaked. He has taken these new tasks on , as well as, checking before lunch and postprandially to evaluate his baseline BG’s. Doing so brought some interesting info to light that we wouldn’t have been aware of without him testing as he had. He has a very reactive response to any carbs, so he’s working on cutting portion sizes and making better carb choices. He is going to make an apt to see the Registered Dietician at his doctor’s office soon to help with this.

My friend pointed out that I actually have it easier in dealing with my meals because I can bolus for any amount of carbs I ingest where he doesn’t treat for carbs or correct for a high BG at this time. I agreed with him but I told him to hang in there. We are still in the beginning of his treatment of this beast and needed to continue to collect as much data to further evaluate his BG response to the Metformin and the new exercise plan he has embarked on. This weeks new task is to log the time and BG reading he gets so he can show his endo when he sees him next. This has been a little challenging as we all can relate to how much we hate to keep a log. We’re looking at a few different iPhone apps to help with this, as well as, trying to get a meter that would automatically sinc his BG reading with his iPhone. We’re looking at the Verio Sinc, specifically. It would be great if his insurance covers the strips for the Verio., then he could email his BG results to his doc for any appts he has. Any one have any suggestions as to a meter which would help in his quest to have his BG’s automatically download, taking the hassle out of logging?? Also, are we correct in that the Verio sincs with the iPhone?? He has an iPhone so we’ve been searching and trying out new diabetes apps regularly.

It seems the Metformin is starting to kick in as his BG’s have come down a bit, especially fasting. It’s been very informative in researching T2D to help my friend. I also have another support person in him to help me with my day to day management of my T1D. We have each other’s back in the diabetes war. I’ll keep updating the blog with what I’ve learned through this new chapter in my and my friend’s life as I try to support my good friend.

 

Remember, check! Don’t guess!!

(Now, My friend understands why I say this phrase.)

 

 

Leave a comment »

Learned some new cool facts about T1D vs surgical T1D

Happy Saturday!! Hope you are enjoying your weekend!!

At a recent endo apt, I learned an interesting fact about glucagon production in T1D versus surgical T1D. Again, although I’m an RN, for the purpose of this blog I am not a diabetes professional and you should ask your T1D team for further info and confirmation of what is offered here. Now, with that out of the way, let me tell you what I learned…

I asked my doc about glucagon in the diabetes population. I had heard conflicting information regarding the different types of diabetes and the PWD’s ability to produce glucagon. In T2D, the person’s alpha cells that produce glucagon work ok in the beginning of the disease process. But as the disease progresses, her/his ability to produce glucagon is diminished.

In the straight up, immunodeficient T1D, again the alpha cells are able to produce glucagon, but when the beta cells which produce insulin are unable to do so, the alpha cells get confused. Medical science has not come up with the reasoning behind this yet, but we’re hoping they are able to do so at some point in the future! These confused alpha cells, produce some glucagon but are not able to get it where it needs to go in the event of a low.

In surgical T1D, there is no production of glucagon because the alpha cells have been removed along with the beta cells and the rest of the pancreas. I’m hoping to have a discussion with my transplant surgeon soon, so I can ask him if alpha cells are transplanted along with the beta cells during the auto (meaning your own cells so no immunosuppressant drugs are necessary) islet cell transplant that occurs in the type of surgery I had for chronic pancreatitis. I’m not sure if the purification process that currently is available can separate the alpha from the beta or if they just get transplanted together and we all hope for the best. Plus, I’d like to know if the alpha cells are as sturdy as the beta cells and do they survive the purification and transplanting process. I’ll get back to you when I know more on this point.

It’s important, if you are on insulin therapy to ask your doctor for a glucagon prescription and carry it with you at all times. It’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and to be without. My endo didn’t offer it to me but after reading many articles on the DOC (Diabetes Online Community), I learned that I needed a script. My doc didn’t hesitate to give me one but it confuses me that we have to ask for it when, I believe, it should be offered to anyone on insulin therapy. That’s because, it is more likely to experience a low with insulin than other forms of treatment, so we should be prepared just in case.

There are instructions in the glucagon case on how to use it and there are many youtube.com videos detailing how to use it. as well as, an iPhone free glucagon app that is an excellent resource for friends with an iPhone. I have had glucagon get-togethers with friends and family with the purpose of explaining lows to those who love me and also, explain the glucagon and how it is used. I take expired glucagon kits and let friends and family practice with them. This goes a long way when and if there is ever a low that I can’t reverse by myself. Hopefully soon, as a result of all the closed loop system research going on, that a better form of glucagon than the one currently available will soon be developed and made available.

In my opinion, it doesn’t seem to matter if your T1D or T2D or a surgical T1D. The glucagon whether there or not, is not able to be used in the manner a normal functioning pancreas is able to provide. Therefor, we must supplement the glucagon if the low is incapacitating the PWD or treat the low before it gets that bad with immediate release forms of glucose. I just thought it was interesting to know what is actually happening in the different forms of diabetes, so I’m passing this along to you.

Remember, TEST!! DON’T GUESS!!!

 

2 Comments »

Hospitalization used as an opportunity to complete basal testing.

Every now and then, my “new normal”, the results of having had a total pancreatectomy, rises up and makes themselves the center of my attention. I occasionally experience significant abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, but after a few days inpatient, my symptoms subside & I can resume my daily life activities in my own home. I also need to use jejunostomy tube feeding (to supplement what I am able to eat by mouth) every night. When I’m having a flare of my worst symptoms, I cannot infuse my tube feeding nor can I eat anything orally. So, this usually requires that I get admitted to my local teaching hospital for what I call a “tune up”. This means I get IV fluids and medications to alleviate my symptoms until they back off and let me resume my life.

As one can imagine, I dislike being in the hospital. The smells, becoming dependent on the nurse of the day for all your care and for her/him to communicate for you to the doctor. And, in today’s medical world, I’m never admitted to my own doctor because they now have what’s called a hospitalist whose job it is to care for folks like me in the hospital. They don’t see people outpatient in an office because their office is the hospital floors. Kind of like the TV character, House, MD. So, not only am I feeling like crap, I then have to relay my story to this new person whom I don’t know and she/he doesn’t know me AT ALL. So that fact lends itself to all kinds of anxiety, like, will she/he really understand what is going on with me. And, usually 9 times out of 10, the hospitalist tries to reinvent the wheel, meaning I have to repeat medications I’ve already tried because this new doctor thinks his way will be more successful than the last doctor’s way. And I have had to repeat diagnostic testing more times than I can count because if you tick off a doctor by telling her/him no, that brings up a whole set of problems I don’t have the time nor the inclination to get into. That’s a whole other topic to post about.  Suffice it to say, I try to play nice with the new hospitalist no matter how much of an a$$ she/he is.

During a recent admission, I had the pleasure of being cared for by my own endo and his nurse practitioner. For some reason, my admission coincided with their on call schedule. I was delighted, to say the least, as I was having a difficult time with (according to my Dexcom Studio software)  spending 75-80% of the day higher than my target range. Which means I was feeling like crap 75-80% of the time.  So, we used this admission as a glorified basal testing grounds. I was taking nothing by mouth and my tube feeding were being held until my symptoms resolved, so I was going to be able to see what my BG’s did all by themselves without the added food.

I kept detailed BG records (what else did I have to do?! Did I mention I don’t enjoy day time television? OK, truth be told, I’m a sucker for “Kelly and Michael” but that’s it I swear!! Oh no, wait! Kind of enjoy “Kathy Lee and Hoda” but nothing else. Hmmmm, seems I forgot to mention the “Chew”. What?? I’m trying to learn how to cook but, this time I pinky swear, nothing else. I was too busy recording blood sugars!! But I digress.) I welcomed a purpose to my admission, especially if it was going to help me on the outside, as well as, help me feel better day to day. My NP, CDE (nurse practitioner and certified diabetic educator) came by usually at the end of the day and we reviewed my logs. We discovered I need to add a second basal at night for both scenarios of when I’m infusing and the nights I don’t. My basal, or continuous insulin needs are different at different times of the day, which is a very common scenario. During the day I need a higher rate than on the nights I don’t infuse (usually because I’m having a problem with abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting) and on the nights I do infuse, I need a higher rate than I even need during the day due to the increased continuous infusion of carbs (carbohydrates). We slowly tweaked the rates increasing from my old settings by 0.025 units of insulin per hour at the different times of each day and finally came up with my new rates.  I’m happy to say that so far, so good!! I know it’s only been a couple of days but already my BG’s are trending within my target range!! Woo Hoo!! Take that, diabetes!!

I have to say that I’ve been able to make such small increments in my insulin doses thanks to one of the triplets of my D technology…my Medtronics 530 G insulin pump, named Daisy ( the other two being my Dexcom and my BG meter). This never would have been possible when I was on MDI (multiple daily injections). So, I’m, as always, grateful to have access to this amazing D technology!!

I’m usually a positive type of person but being admitted to the hospital with pain especially is no fun, so I was happy to be distracted a little from my symptoms by trying to figure out how to decrease these persistent highs I had been having.  Generally, I HATE keeping written logs!! I rely heavily on Carelink & Dexcom Studio to interpret my data and keep me from going nuts trying to record everything while at the same time, trying to live life. This admission gave me the opportunity to keep very a very accurate log and help myself obtain better BG control.

Do you hate to keep logs as much as I do?? Do you regularly use the software for your D technology to keep track of patterns and trends? Any tips on how I could become a better log keeper, especially when it comes to food logs? Along with laundry, they are the bane of my existence!

And, Remember, CHECK…DON’T GUESS!!

 

Leave a comment »

Book review: Shot: Staying Alive with Diabetes by Amy F. Ryan

I recently read a book that from the time I sat down and began to read, I couldn’t put it down! I ended up staying up way too late just to read as much as I could. The story was very compelling. It is not only the autobiography of Amy Ryan’s life but also details her new life with type 1 diabetes  having been misdiagnosed as type 2 due to her age at the time she sought the medical advice of her doctor. She was 29 years old and had been healthy up until this point but an unrelenting yeast infection was her presenting symptom. She writes of how her life was turned upside down trying to navigate the treatment plan she was given that didn’t seem to be working due to her misdiagnosis.

What I really like is that she is able to put into words the daily struggle to manage diabetes and to live life to its fullest despite all of the effort required to truly manage this disease. And, she doesn’t shy away from telling about the times she’s struggled with burnout.

As a young woman, Amy tackles the issues related to deciding how to administer the insulin that she needs to survive, including issues with intimacy and the insulin pump, what a successful pregnancy needs her to add to an already full management schedule every day. And, she’s not shy when she writes about her own emotional struggles and how to share that part of diabetes with those closest to her.

I thoroughly recommend this book, especially to young women and men who are diagnosed as adults with diabetes. And, although her story is about type 1 and what it entailed for her, I believe it pertains to any form of diabetes.

Recently, a close friend of mine had a number of questions about my daily life as compared to my life before my T1D diagnosis. I gave her a copy of Amy’s book for her to read. This friend had very limited knowledge of diabetes in general and we were able to discuss the book together and then my daily management tools I use to live my life as healthy as possible. It started the discussion for us, and I believe it can help others start the discussion with the people who care about them.

The book written by Amy F Ryan is, Shot: Staying Alive with Diabetes, published by Hudson Whitman, Excelsior College Press, Albany, NY, copy write 2013.

This review is my own. I have not been asked nor have I been paid to write this. I just love the book and wanted to share it with others who could gain something personal by reading it.

 

Remember…CHECK! DON’T GUESS!!

Leave a comment »

Is it me??

I recently developed a relatively new pet peeve and I’m wondering what other PWD think about this…

 

Last week I was casually chatting with a friend about how I’d had a very low blood sugar that morning (31mg/dl) that was unexpected and I was still kind of in a light fog because of it. He asked me what it felt like. He seemed concerned about this hypoglycemic event and he is a healthcare worker, so I thought I would do a little “inservice” (the medical community uses the “inservice” to educate our peers on new equipment, meds, etc). I gave him a short list of what it could feel like to anyone and as I was explaining that each PWD has her/his own set of symptoms, he suddenly cut my “inservice” short, exclaiming, “that’s what happened to me this morning!”

OK. I didn’t know he had difficulty with his blood sugars regulating on their own, by way of his normal, completely functioning islet cells but maybe I didn’t know something about his current health situation. When I asked him what his symptoms were, he told me, “I got a bad headache when I skipped breakfast.” I inquired further and, no, nothing was wrong with his normal functioning islet cells. Maybe you were just hungry? He quickly replied, “No, I wasn’t hungry! I had a low blood sugar just like you described!” I asked him what he did to correct it and he calmly stated, “Oh, I just popped a couple of Advil and went about my day. But, boy, was I starving at lunch.” WHAT??!!

I calmed my racing, shocked pulse down and just decided to move the conversation along because I got the feeling this friend had no clue what a true hypoglycemic incident is about. I changed the subject and we got to the business of catching up. I decided the “inservice” would have been lost on this person anyway.

This is a first for me on this Type 1 journey. My inner circle of family and friends has been very supportive and frequently asks questions so they can better understand what’s going on with me, like I do with them when something’s going on with them that I don’t understand. It’s a normal give and take amongst friends & family. But this person is just outside of my inner circle, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when he really wasn’t concerned about me at all, just his headache’s cause (even though it was pretty obvious the missed meal was most likely the cause. But, in his defense, maybe his blood sugar was at the lower end of his normal glucose range.)

I’m still wondering why I was so amped up by his response. It seems to me that many PWD fear the low!!! And just “popping a few Advil”  wouldn’t correct a true low blood sugar. Maybe I’ve been in a little bubble where it’s been all about me as I navigate this new world?(I’m definitely learning it’s NOT all about me) I don’t know but I’m thinking that my fear of a low and this person’s delight in figuring out what caused his headache, shocked me.

When we were preparing to part ways, I mentioned to him that he should start carrying immediate glucose foods with him to combat the lows he might experience in the future.

How do you respond when someone seems uneducated on what you’re experiencing due to diabetes and compares it to something in her/his nondiabetic life?

 

Remember…CHECK. DON’T GUESS!!!

 

2 Comments »

I’m Angry!!!

I’m really angry with the fact that I have to deal with surgical T1D!!! But I feel I don’t have the right to be. After all, I chose this…well, sort of. I’m the one that decided to have the rest of my pancreas removed February 8,2013, after having had half of it removed January 31,1994 due to chronic pancreatitis. I knew diabetes, type one, was a real possibility, but I really didn’t think it would happen to me!! Seriously, I was having MY islet cells removed, before they threw away the rest of my pancreas, purified and then transplanted back into my right kidney where there is a large blood supply. There was no risk of rejection. So, surely, my islets would be happy there and continue to provide me with the insulin I would need for the rest of my life. Right? WRONG!!!

My transplant surgeon explained to me the usual scenario with the rates of T1D after pancreatectomy. One third of patients require no insulin and their islet cells take after transplantation and all is well with the world. Another third, some of the islets take and they only require a little bit of insulin. And, the last third, the islet transplantation fails and these people have to deal with what I was told is “brittle diabetes”, meaning wildly fluctuating blood sugars that are difficult to control. I truly never thought I would become part of the last third. I wholeheartedly believed my transplant would take. These are, after all, my own islet cells. What would make them fail??(I have to say though, that I don’t feel my diabetes is unmanageable! Is it difficult? Yes, but so is everyone else’s diabetes. I feel very fortunate to be managing my BG’s fairly well. I was so scared I’d be dealing with this unmanageable beast and I’d be riddled with complications in short order. This, thankfully is not the case!!)

Right after my surgery, in the surgical ICU, my islets seemed to be functioning beautifully but I was requiring a minimal amount of short acting insulin. OK. So, I would be one of those that had some success but would need a little bit of insulin. I could deal with that. A few days later, I developed a high fever that was sustained for a number of hours despite Tylenol. Immediately following the fever, I started to require large amounts of insulin with fluctuating BG’s. This can’t be happening, I thought!! Seriously, I was given a brief foray into partial success with the need for only small amounts of insulin, but now, a fever wiped out my islets!!! I couldn’t believe it. I had tasted success only to have it ripped away.

Boy was I angry!!! But, right away, I felt bad for being angry. I knew this was a possibility, yet I chose to have the surgery anyway. Who did I think I was being angry?? I was thinking about all those who had innocently acquired T1D through no fault of their own, especially the children, yet, I directly had a hand in my T1D and I had the gall to be angry? This is how I continue to feel. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong but I feel directly responsible for my diabetes, so I have no right to be angry.

I’m also angry with myself for not even considering the possibility that my islets would fail resulting in T1D. Maybe then I could have researched the whole thing and been prepared for what was to come. NOPE!!! I did NO research until after I was discharged home from the hospital, and then I couldn’t read enough about it!! I always feel guilty when I have these times of feeling angry about the whole diabetes thing.

Part of the reason I started this blog is because I feel I don’t “fit in” in the diabetes community because I didn’t get my diabetes from an autoimmune disease or through genetics. There are some things that are different about my T1D than the usual PWD. So far, I haven’t met, face-to-face, any other surgical T1D’s. Luckily, though, I have a group of us that communicate through Facebook. I don’t know what I would have done in the beginning if I didn’t have this community of people. We all have had the same surgery and find ourselves dealing with this “Daily Guessing Game” together. I would, however, like to connect with some other surgical diabetics that live in my area or here on Muddybrooks. People that have either had a pancreatectomy through a trauma or electively, like myself. We can learn a lot from each other. How do you feel about your diabetes??

Hope you’re having a great Wednesday and I apologize that this isn’t a “Wordless Wednesday” pictorial post. But I just had to get this off of my chest. Thanks for reading along!!

 

Remember, Check!! Don’t Guess!!

Leave a comment »

Correction of website posted Monday, June 2, 2014

Hi! Just a quick correction. The website for Pump Wear is http://pumpwearinc.com Thanks!!

Leave a comment »

See Jen Dance

Lifestyles of the Recovering Ballroom Addict with a Robot Pancreas

inDpendence

Sometimes Diabetes Takes Center Stage

Push My Buttons to Turn Me On

Pushing buttons to stay alive because my pancreas is too lazy

d-meanderings

meandering through lada diabetes

Diabetes Blog - Happy-Medium.net

Searching for the right balance between the highs and lows of diabetes

The Chronic Scholar

Bridging Patient Experience and The Ivory Tower

the.insulin.type

25 year old T1D of 10+ years

Test Guess and Go

Even with testing, diabetes is a guess every day.

Diabetes Stories

It's Time To Flourish With Diabetes

What Sarah Said

Musings and reflections from the head and the heart of a twentysomething living life with T1D

The Stolen Colon | Living beautifully with an ostomy

Stephanie Hughes | This blog is my way of connecting with the world about living with an ostomy and Crohn's disease.

SHSL

My life with Type 1 diabetes

Tin Can Knits

modern seamless knits for the whole family

photograbetic

a type 1 diabetic photographer

No More Shots for Shannon

That's a goal.... not yet a reality.

Typical Type 1

Is there anything new to say about living with Type 1 diabetes? Maybe not, but I'll try anyway.

Mo is blogging...I think

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Sew Much To Do

Quilting. Loving. Healing.